


Tell me what it takes to move on

by Vlindervin



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, M/M, prompt on tumblr, solangelo, sort of, with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 05:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7963792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vlindervin/pseuds/Vlindervin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His opponent’s sword grazes his elbow and he can feel some blood drippling out of the wound. The wind starts rushing through his hair. His adrenaline is at his highest. His vison is red. He can see the girl getting winded. Nico feels nothing. This isn’t tiring him out. It should tire him out. The feeling of a sword in his hand and the energy of fighting aren’t enough to replace the feeling of Will’s lips on his for the last time. The sound of the fight is not enough to replace the sound of his own voice breaking in his memory.<br/>He makes a particularly large blow and the girl tumbles backwards. In her moments of weakness, Nico hits the sword out of her hands. He almost forgets he’s fighting a camper and not his feelings of hopelessness and nothingness that had followed his last kiss with Will. He almost forgets the girl in front of him, isn’t the rush of tears he’s trying to kill. He almost forgets and stops himself from doing any more damage just before it’s too late.</p><p>Will and Nico broke up some time ago. Now, Will has a new boyfriend and Nico doesn't think he's good enough for Will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell me what it takes to move on

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt on Tumblr.  
> The title comes from 'I'd rather make mistakes than make nothing at all' by Mayday Parade.

Nico is staring at their linked hands, an so obvious romantic gesture. It feels like his heart is being twisted inside his chest. It’s painful. So painful.

Logically, he knows he shouldn’t feel this way. Of course Will would move on. Nico has no right to believe otherwise. He also know that it’s partially his fault.

He just thought he would’ve been prepared after hearing all the rumours going around camp, but he isn’t. He isn’t prepared at all. Not prepared for the sight of Will like this, smiling down at his _companion’s_ (Nico is not able to think the word _boyfriend_. Not when he spent so much time freaking out about the fact that that’s what Will introduced him as.) fingers linked with his. He tells himself that Will smiled brighter and looked happier holding his hand, but really, he has no way of knowing.

The boy holding Will’s hand is a son of Athena, light-brown hair and the same fierce grey eyes as Annabeth. They’re holding knowledge and Nico always has the feeling those eyes can see inside his soul. Nico distinctly remembers his name to be Arthur. He’s extremely handsome and probably way better for Will than Nico ever was, but that doesn’t stop Nico from feeling as if Arthur is the worst person to ever walk this earth. _Ever._

When they walk past Nico’s table, Will gives him something that’s probably supposed to be a smile, but is just a tug at the right corner of his mouth. It’s over before he fully realizes what it was, Nico doesn’t return it. And he’s not sure if he’s imagining things, but it feels like Arthur looks at him, smug and maybe even winks evilly.

Nico dismisses the uneasy feeling he got when they walk past, and tells himself that Will can choose for himself and that Nico should trust his judgement. He doesn’t do a pretty good job at convincing himself. Will was with Nico too, after all, and what kind of choice is that?

At first he’s sad, Jason tries to cheer him up, but it doesn’t really work; it never has. Then he’s just angry. At himself, mostly, for letting Will go. Will who’s undeniably the best person Nico knows. Maybe, he’s a little bit angry at Will, too. Even though he knows he has no right to be. But between what is right and what his heart feels, there’s usually a whole world of conflict.

When a skeleton hand appears out of the ground, he gets up deciding that being alone without any people he can accidentally attack is probably better. He makes sure to avoid Will’s table and makes his way to his cabin, but when he gets there he can’t find one single reason why this is a good idea. The way he’s feeling and the depressing sight of being alone in his cabin, is too much like the first weeks after the breakup. The way Nico hid in here for weeks, until Jason decided it was enough and physically dragged him out. The first rays of sunshine that Nico had felt in almost a month, burned his eyes. Not only because he was used to the darkness again, but also because it reminded him of Will and his sunny smile and personality.

He stands in the doorway for a minute and in the end he decides it’s not worth going through all that again. It’s been four months. So he runs to arenas, without a real reason, only that his feet bring him there. He picks a sword. He contemplates finding an Ares kid to pick a fight with, but he realizes children of Ares don’t need a reason to fight and that the first girl he finds is willing to train with him. She’s tall and looks strong, she’s got this rage in her eyes that says she would kill anyone that dares getting in her way. It’s exactly what he needs. And so they start.

Nico puts all of his anger in thrusting and tries to get lost in the clanging sounds of metal on metal to stop seeing Will’s blue eyes on the verge of tear, serious and understanding.

The girl’s blade almost hits his shoulder, but he dodges and it misses him by a thread.

_‘I think it would be better for both of us.’_

He tries to forget Will nodding in understanding and agreeing by slashing his sword at the girl’s chest. She’s too fast and gets her revenge by almost knocking the sword out of Nico’s hand.

_‘You’re right. Just know that you’re wonderful, Nico. And please don’t ever start believing you’re not again, okay? For me.’_

The stars had been shining bright that night, like they were mocking Nico when all he was feeling was darkness.

His opponent’s sword grazes his elbow and he can feel some blood drippling out of the wound. The wind starts rushing through his hair. His adrenaline is at his highest. His vison is red. He can see the girl getting winded. Nico feels nothing. This isn’t tiring him out. It should tire him out. The feeling of a sword in his hand and the energy of fighting aren’t enough to replace the feeling of Will’s lips on his for the last time. The sound of the fight is not enough to replace the sound of his own voice breaking in his memory.

He makes a particularly large blow and the girl tumbles backwards. In her moments of weakness, Nico hits the sword out of her hands. He almost forgets he’s fighting a camper and not his feelings of hopelessness and nothingness that had followed his last kiss with Will. He almost forgets the girl in front of him, isn’t the rush of tears he’s trying to kill. He almost forgets and stops himself from doing any more damage just before it’s too late.

She’s lying on the ground, with not quite fear in her eyes, but something close enough, and Nico is seconds away from killing her.

When he realizes what he’s doing, he stops and lets his sword fall on the ground in disgust. He backs away, his eyes wide and when the girl is on her feet again, he starts apologizing. She quickly shuts him down.

‘Hey, I know how it is to get lost in a fight. I’m okay. Are _you_ okay though?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Why are you crying?’

‘Wha – ‘ Nico brings a hand to his eye and he’s surprised to find his cheeks wet. He hadn’t noticed. ‘I’m fine. Thanks.’, and he takes off without saying anything else, leaving a stunned daughter of Ares behind.

He starts running again, going where his feet want to take him. What’s the matter with him? He thought he was kind of over Will, that he had moved on. But clearly not. Seeing Will with that Arthur guy hurts more than he ever thought it would. The knowledge that Will has officially moved on from Nico, only shows how stuck Nico still is on their relationship. Their relationship that has been dead for over four months. The image of Will happy with his new boyfriend (the word still makes him sick) is burned behind his eyelids. It’s drawn there with permanent ink and he sees it clearly whenever he so much as blinks. And then it’s imprinted in his brain too, making it impossible to forget.

Lost in his thoughts, he runs into Annabeth.

‘Whoa, there. Everything alright?’, she asks, holding his shoulder to make sure he doesn’t fall down.

‘Yeah, I’m fine’, he says. It’s not convincing apparently, because all she does is raise her eyebrows and cock her head to the side.

‘You’re eyes are red. You’ve been crying?’

And there are those damned grey eyes again. Nico is positive that she can see his soul and everything beyond. Why did he have to run into Annabeth? Anyone but Annabeth. They’ve actually gotten pretty close after Nico’s confession to Percy. And normally he’s grateful for her, if you have a problem that needs solving, she’s always there to help, but this is not a problem she can solve. No one can. All Nico can do, is try get over Will. Or at least try to erase the images in his brain.

‘And you’ve got a deep cut on your elbow. Care to tell me what’s happened?’, she asks, her voice sweet and concerned, like a big sister.

‘It’s nothing, really.’

‘I don’t believe you, but if you don’t want to tell me, fine. At least let me bring you to the infirmary for some ambrosia.’

He follows her when she starts walking. The last place he wants to be right now is around Will, and chances are pretty high he’ll be at the infirmary, but he knows it’s no use arguing with Annabeth.

They walk in silence for a while, until Nico just decides to ask it. ‘Arthur is one of your siblings, right? What’s he like?’

Understanding lights up in Annabeth’s eyes. And when she looks at Nico there’s a kind of sadness in her eyes. ‘He’s one of my siblings I’m the least close to. Not because I don’t like him, but just because we never really got the opportunity to bond. But if you’re asking if I think he’s good for Will, then all I can say is that I think we should trust Will. I’m sure he’s happy.’

It’s not enough to chase the angry feeling inside Nico’s chest, but it calms him. Nico trusts Annabeth’s judgement. And she’s right, Will is probably happy, and that’s all Nico’s ever wanted for him. If it’s with him or not. As long as Will’s happy.

The rest of the walk, Nico can feel Annabeth’s concerned look heavy on him. They don’t say anything, but Nico’s kind of comforted by her presence.

He has to wait at the infirmary for a minute, long enough for someone to get the ambrosia and disinfectant, and also long enough to hear the voice of the person he doesn’t want to see.

‘Can you wait like, half an hour? Just the time to finish up here.’

Will walks out of one of the doors, talking to Arthur who has a frown on his face. One from real annoyance, not like the ones Nico used to have around Will.

‘I don’t have all the time in the world. I can’t just wait for you all day. I have other stuff to do beside you.’, Arthur snarls.

He probably didn’t mean it that way, but the choice of words hits Nico deep. The thought of Will being intimate with that guy, almost literally makes him violently sick.

‘Then don’t wait for me. We’ll go another time. I really can’t go right now, sorry.’

Nico wants to run to Will and tell him that he’ll be waiting when he sees the hurt expression on Will’s face. If he could, he’d do anything to see the hurt disappear, just like he always has. Arthur doesn’t seem to care, though. He waves him off and storms out, leaving Will behind. He hasn’t seen Nico yet, for which he’s grateful.

There’s something else on Will’s face too. Something that says that this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

Next to him Annabeth had been watching the exchange too and her brows are furrowed. She doesn’t say anything and neither does Nico, but they’re both thinking the same thing and they both know it.

The rest of the day all Nico can think of is Arthur sneering at Will. It’s consuming him. It’s been a long time since he’s been this angry. He can feel his hands shaking whenever he thinks of it. And if they were still together, Nico would’ve attacked and beaten up the person that dared hurting Will, but when Will’s boyfriend is hurting Will, Will’s ex-boyfriend can’t really do anything about it.

So he keeps it inside, and he feels worse than he has since they broke up. It’s this mixture of sadness and anger and _helplessness,_ that’s making it hard for him to function normally. Because he still cares about Will so much, he doesn’t think that’ll ever change, and seeing the people he loves in pain, is something he just can’t stand.

He has trouble sleeping at night, he can’t concentrate during the day, all he can think of is Will and how he hopes he’s wrong. But he’s not. He know he’s not. Because every time Nico looks at Will during breakfast or any other time, he’s never really smiling. It’s always this little tilt of his mouth and when he’s around Arthur he doesn’t smile at all.

That’s the worst thing that could’ve happened to Will. That someone stole the sun out of his smile. Nico decided he had enough.

He ‘accidentally’ bumps into Will a few days later on his way to his cabin. Will’s eyes widen in surprise when he sees Nico.

‘Oh, Nico!’, he stutters. He scratches his neck. ‘How are you?’, he asks hesitantly, not really knowing how to act around Nico.

‘I’m fine. What about you? How’s… Arthur?’

Will seems surprised by the question. ‘Everything’s great.’, he says, giving Nico one of the smiles that aren’t really smiles. Nico can tell he’s lying, he knows Will better than anyone and it breaks his heart.

‘You don’t have to lie to me, Will’. He probably shouldn’t just say thing like that, but he was never good at tact, preferring to get straight to the point.

‘What?’, Will huffs. ‘I’m not lying to you. Everything is great. Why are you like this?’

Nico snickers and rolls his eyes. ‘Whatever, Solace. If you want to be with someone that doesn’t deserve you, go ahead. I won’t stop you.’ And then he’s gone.

It did not go as planned. Nico initially wanted to go easy and find out what exactly is happening, but instead he basically called Will a liar and left.

_What is wrong with you, Nico?_

Will avoids Nico the following days, leaving a room when he walks in, looking away when Nico looks at him. It’s driving Nico crazy.

Two weeks later he’s lying on his bed, trying to fall asleep, when there’s a knock on the door. He gets up, curious as to who it could be at this hour. He opens the door, wearing nothing but skull-patterned pyjama pants and a light shirt. When he opens the door, the wind hits him and gives him goose bumps.

He almost falls down when he sees that it’s Will knocking on his door in the middle of the night.

‘Will? What are you doing here?’

Will puts his hands in his pockets and squints his eyes. ‘I’m not sure.’

‘Well, come in then. I’m freezing.’

Nico goes inside, leaving his door open for Will to follow. He sits on the couch and motions for Will to do the same. Will sits as far from Nico as possible. They don’t say anything for a while, just looking at each other, waiting for the other to speak. Then Will takes a deep breath. ‘You were right.’

‘About what?’

‘When you said I was lying. Things have never been really great with Arthur. Even in the beginning.’

‘Okay, why are you telling me this?’

‘Because you’re the reason.’ Will bites his lip before continuing. ‘I only ever dated Arthur because I tried getting over you, but I just couldn’t. And I thought that being with someone else would help that, you know? But it didn’t really. It only made it worse and made me realize just how much I actually miss you. I know we both said it would be better if we just broke up, but I didn’t really mean it. I regretted it the day after.’

Nico doesn't know what to say. He never really was good with words, but they are completely gone now. So he does the only thing he can think of, if his words don’t come, his lips would just have to do other things. He carefully leans over, giving Will the time to pull back if he wants to and gently presses his lips against Will’s. He knows they should probably talk about things, but _gods_ he’s missed this. He almost forgot how Will feels against him and he promises himself that he will never let Will go ever again. It’s short and when he pulls back, Will is smiling his smile that contains the sun.

‘Your smile is back.’ It’s the only thing he can think of right now. They haven’t sorted out their issues yet and obviously there’s still some things they need to discuss. But for tonight lying in each other’s arms and falling asleep like that, like they used to, is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know, I don't really like this, but I tried.  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Love,  
> Jasmine


End file.
